Regarding Burning Bridges

An old saw we’ve all heard, repeated and advised, “don’t burn your bridges” applies particularly well after you’ve lost your job during an extensive economic downturn.  I was reminded of that yesterday when a 2009 client called to make sure I knew he had been recalled to work by the company that terminated him.  He is on the other side of sixty, technically savvy, sociable, and competent.  Image a company so racked with regret for having to pull the drain plug on the career of a really good employee that they hire him back.

It wasn’t guilt, of course, that drove their decision— but the same economic reason for letting him go in the first place.  Only now, instead of lowering their variable costs, they were utilizing his employment to generate a profit.

Tally one for leaving on good terms.  But what if leaving “on bad terms” seems unavoidable?  What if someone in your former company simply had it out for you or a project to which you were entrusted had no chance of succeeding?  There are ways to minimize or even reverse the bad mojo that may accompany or induce a termination.

The defensive move that is most within your control is also the most difficult:  keeping your chin up, accepting your fate, and letting management know that you are dedicated to moving on.  Let’s face it, once management has made a decision, you are gone, baby, gone. Having seen the view from both sides of the firing line, this decision is not going to be swayed by any possible argument or rationale.

One of the most common fears related to layoffs and other forms of termination leading to irrational management behavior is the fear of a reprisal or a negative event in public.  People making scenes get attention but rarely sympathy.  I’m not saying that management is always logical or fair in making layoffs—merely that reacting badly to them only reinforces management’s belief that they made a good decision in the first place. “See—they really were masking their hostility.  It was bound to come out sooner or later.” Some managers are actually relieved when a terminated employee acts out or lashes out at the company or supervisor.  When this occurs, managers breathe easier, their guilt assuaged.

Be nice, even if they aren’t so nice.  You will be remembered for your dignified demeanor and optimistic view and wished well by your former managers and colleagues.  When business picks up later and they are short handed, they just might have that classy image of you in mind.

Yet we are angry, we are hurt. So to whom do you complain and vent your righteous anger?  Your sense of losing a bit of your humanity by being discarded like last year’s fashions?  That’s where you need friends, family, and networking groups.  Some groups meet at churches.  Some meet at your local pub & grill.  I prefer the pub & grill, which despite their dearth of job leads has lots of social support and a bar. Perhaps even a sympathetic bartender with a coaching certificate.