Things You Wish You Hadn’t Said in the Interview
WE have all experienced at one time or another that painful stab of realization that what has just come out of our mouths was completely wrong, or could only have been said with such confidence by a buffoon. Sometimes we can backtrack out of it, or switch into an “I was making a poor joke” mode. We might salvage the situation, and even in rare cases advance our position. However, this coach does not recommend blurting and then desperately receding as an interviewing strategy. An overwhelmingly better method is to anticipate in advance, think through, and practice your responses, rather than wing it with questionable humor (the kind which pops up here with unnerving frequency). Why is it, then, that the average job candidate is woefully unprepared to slam dunk that interview? We shall take up that question in a later blog. I promise–not too much later.
This blog is dedicated to those unbelievable blurts and moronic retorts and questions that one might emit if one were a member of, oh… say a couple of late vaudevillian and single-reel film characters, one of whom was known as “Curley.” This is just for fun, folks, because people in Career Transition, which as we all know is unemployed in a tuxedo, need a little humor in their lives just to get through the day. It is also a reminder that almost any mistake we make will have been topped by someone else’s.
I would be “embalmed” if people added their own ludicrous examples to the list via comments.
To wit(-less), here are some examples of statements and questions NOT to say during a job interview:
1. When is recess around here?
2. Can I bring my pet ferret to work?
3. I hope you hire me. There are some awesome babes working here.
4. I can do this job. I did something like this in the pen.
5. You guys all seem really nice, like I would never have a reason to sue you.
6. As an affirmative answer to a question, “Nyuk nyuk, nyuk..Why soitanly!”
7. What a gas…people really buy this crap you sell?
8. Can I have an office close to the bathroom?
9. Of course there’s no smoking in the office. Like I can’t wait until after work to get high!
10. Can I hang my Charles Manson poster on my cube wall?
11. You were joking about the starting salary, right?
12. Hasn’t anyone thought of starting a union around here?
If I receive enough great examples from you, dear readers, I’ll feature them in a future blog.
more of the what “wasn’t said” by an interviewee in last one…. The “Deer in the headlight” look to one of the question was priceless.
Connie,
Thanks for sharing your honest responses. In the spirit of sharing, I’ll tell a story about one of my earlier interviews. While I was still floundering in graduate school I networked into an interview at a leading accounting consultancy company in St. Louis. I actually wasn’t sure why I was there, but it was a prestigious firm, and I had an “in.”
When the Managing Partner walked out from behind his desk and pulled up a chair to “chat,” I was completely disarmed: the ploy worked, and I took the bait that said I was allowed to relax. After a bit of small talk, he finally came around to ask what I thought about sales.
“Well,” I started, “I like selling, although I wouldn’t want to have to go out and knock on doors.”
What did I think sales was? Of course the interview was all but over at that point. Reality was, I wouldn’t have fit in, I wouldn’t have been good at selling whatever they did, and I didn’t belong there. Sometimes the truth comes to us from out of our own shadows. We almost always know the truth, but are often not in touch with the information. Maybe saying the wrong thing can sometimes be a boon to one’s career direction.
I was being interviewed by a consultant who was hired by a PR firm that was considering hiring me as the person who would eventually take over the firm upon the owner’s retirement. The firm had offices in a trendy part of Dallas, but when you got past the front reception area and conference room, the main work area for all staff, including the VP, which is what I would have been,, left a lot to be desired. The consultant asked me if I was really willing to drive the 40 minutes it would take me to get to the office each day. I thought about it a minute and said, “I don’t mind the drive at all, but I am really unimpressed with the work conditions and office space, and I think I’d go crazy working in that cramped environment.” Obviously I knew I wasn’t interested in the position when I said it, but dissing the office space is certainly a great way to get removed from a job opportunity. On another occasion, similar situation, the interviewer said, “So, you aren’t a high tech PR specialist, so if we ‘train’ you to do high tech PR, what’s to stop you from moving across the street to a different firm?” I answered, “At this point in my career, it’s really all about the money.” Again, I knew I didn’t want the job, and that was an effective way of again getting out of the “opportunity.” In all, I’ve learned I don’t want a real job and am perfectly happy as a freelancer.